More thoughts on prayer

For the past few days I have been praying more than I ever have before, more focused prayer has been coming through me, and I have to say that it has brought me closer to my creator and my Healer more than I have ever been. I have always wanted this and have always heard talk of it, that feeling that he is near, that he is whispering in my ear, that he is pushing me into the person that God intended me to be, when he formed me out of nothingness in my mothers womb. The more I put myself under his authority and ask him to guide me even in my own prayers, so that I could be evermore closer to the oneness that my heart craves, so that I could truly be more in line with what he is praying for and what he is wanting to get done, so that I can be more of a conduit of his love and his healing. Truly focused on the bringing of his Kingdom through me. The struggle for him is truly worth it, that feeling of being lost is in all of us, but when I touch the hem of his robe and I feel connected to his will that feeling starts to fade away, I don't feel so lost, I feel like I have a purpose that is deeper than me, it grounds me and feeds me, and shapes me from this lump of clay into a true work of art, I may not be totally there yet but know that I am on the path.

Prayer

Prayer has been something that I always felt odd about, I have always done it but had this feeling that I was missing something. I have this strong desire to live out my convictions and I know that prayer is a very important aspect of that. Resting in Gods arms and letting his will lead my life has always been a hope of mine. Prayer is something that I feel is a beautiful thing, someone calling out to their creator asking for help being the person that they were created to be, communing with God, that's awesome! But as I am learning now more about prayer there are so many more aspects to prayer itself, that it really takes some effort; time to devote to it, a heart that you can dig into and use, and humbleness. The Daily Audio Bible has been having a "class" from John Eldridge and Ransomed Heart ministries about prayer, which has been very informative for me. It has given me more understanding toward prayer. Thank you Lord.

Pods

After a lots of driving on a long business I am finally back home, on my trip I loaded a lot of podcasts onto my mp3 player and dove deep into them, which is something that I love to do. I am so thankful for the ability to have so many ideas at my fingertips. Here is some of the ones that I have been listening to;The daily audio bible (which has helped me so much in my walk with God, giving me a chance and the ability to journey through the bible), Mars Hill Bible Church(Which some of you know is the home of Rob Bell, one of my favorite teachers, I always feel so lifted and learn so much from Rob and many of the other pastors), Starving Jesus (which is a cast from Craig Gross and JR Mahon from XXXChurch, very awesome), and of course Revolution Church (Jay Bakker's church, a like minded follower of Jesus). I feel so energized, thank you Jesus....

authentic community

This thought has been in my mind for a while and just recently I have stumbled on a website called Thrive Ministries it is a missional based ministry, concerning creating an authentic community, and living out Missio Dei or the Mission of God; which is the idea that God is actively working to restore his creation to wholeness. This has put a hop in my step thinking about creating a community where we as God's children can come together in total honesty and trust to heal the wounds that cover us, were we can learn to love each other's true self the self that God created. My whole life I have been thinking along this path, that I want something deeper where I can shed the false self I have created and have a true community that I can trust and be trusted in. Where I can be healed and help others heal. A place where love permeates and we can help each other learn to love our spouses and children more, and spread the healing and redemption of the whole world. This is what I feel that Jesus was talking about, bringing God's Kingdom here. Something here and now not just a prayer that we pray so that someday we will live for eternity with God, we all need that relationship with God healed.
From Thrive I heard a quote from author Parker Palmer that expresses this quite well "Afraid that our inner light will be extinguished or our inner darkness exposed, we hide our true identities from each other, in the process we become separated from our own souls. We end up living divided lives so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the integrity that comes from being who we are." he also said "How can affirm anothers identity when I deny my own, how can trust anothers identity when I defy my own." A thank you from me goes out to Thrive Ministries for futhering my walk with God...

School?!?!?!

Wow here comes school again, and I am not ready, but I can handle it as long as Gods got my back.

new year.....

So for years I have not made any resolutions, but this is a new year, right? Lately I have been very moved to write down some goals so that I will be motivated to become the person that I can be proud of, so here goes my new year resolutions:

1:To seek God more, and let him father me; praying more regularly, fasting more and loving more.
2:Seek out what it means to be a man, and what it means to lead.
3:To love my wife more, show her that I picked her because I want relationship with her more than anyone else, I want to build her up and show her that she is an amazing woman and mother that deserves praise.
4:I want to live my life more fiscally responsibly, I want to learn how to live within my means, and still give my family what they need.
5:I want to seek out deeper friendships with folks from our church, spending more time with them.
6:I want to do the best that I possibly can at work and school.
7:To be the father I like to think that I am, spending more time with my kids and talking to them more kindly.
8:To follow Jesus more closely, letting his way of thinking invade my life and free me from my old mindsets.
9:To love more deeply every thing that I do or interact with.

I think that these will keep me busy for a while.