The reason for the season...

LOVE

Love, what a wonderful, hard, blessed, difficult, gratifying thing. It is so hard to live in and fulfill with in our lives, its that one thing that keeps us from being the people that we truly are, its the one law that Jesus said would set us free. Its the one thing that I believe is going to save the world but still it is the one thing that I can't seem to keep in focus all of the time. LOVE. It seems so easy to say but how many of us truly live it out within all of our relationships, LOVE, the Beatles say its easy, and its all you need, I agree on the latter but the former has me thinking. I feel that when I focus on my self (which seems to come real easy, maybe because of how I was raised, I don't know) the LOVING part becomes something that I really have to struggle to choose, but as soon as I do, I'll have to say the Beatles have it right, its easy. Its natural, and that's why I know its how we are made to be. Another one of my favorite music groups "Noah and the Whale", has a line in one of their songs "Peaceful" it goes like this;" if you don't believe in God, then how can you believe in LOVE, because if we are all just matter, that will one day scatter, when the world lays us down". I think that what they are trying to say is that LOVE is real, and if LOVE is real, than God has to be real as well. Well I would like to end on the immortal words of Lennon/McCartney, "LOVE, LOVE, LOVE; LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, its easy, all you need is LOVE, LOVE is all you need, LOVE is all you need."

Winter Time

The winter is here and I am loving it the feeling of the woodstove and cozying up together as a family, it just warms my heart. Sometimes I just feel like that is enough, that I am complete, I don't know it just feels right, it feels good. There is something about the cold, when you go outside and can only stand it for a short while, and you come in amazed at how warm the house is. I know that everyone doesn't agree with me but I love it. And not to mention Christmas. Enjoy my favorite musician and his wonderful song. He just makes me happy. I hope he does the same for you.

To own a dragon..

I just recently bought the book "To Own a Dragon" by Don Miller, this book is about growing up with out a father. Which is one of the greatest struggles of my whole life, I did have a father up until I was 14, but I have to say that he was not much of one when he was around. He was an alcoholic, and very depressed and mostly absent as a father. So in my life learning how to be a father and a husband, which I decided to become early on (to my great joy), has been a tremendous uphill climb for me, I have hurt people along the way, and for that I am truly sorry, my short comings have put my family in a place where we struggle with the simple things that for most people come natural and easy. This book has opened things in my own heart that I thought that I was over but realize that I have just pushed down. It is so hard to face and accept what God has given, the good and the bad, which I think that enter mingle with each other like a spiders web, the spider web of our life. I think that even people with the best upbringings have interspersed within them difficult times. I think that all of these things have to do with our disconnection from God, i e the fall of humanity. Not having a in touch father to me has such a bearing on being able to be in touch with the true father, relying on God is so hard when you aren't sure that he is able to be in touch with you, or in the back of your mind even wants to. I so hope that I can give my children the father that I did not have, so hopefully they won't have to struggle with these same things that I have such a hard time with. And I also so hope that I can overcome this so that I can give my wife the husband that she has always wished for. Is this a struggle for anyone out there, I wonder am I alone? If anyone who reads this has any words of fatherly wisdom to impart please leave a comment, I would love to read them.

The struggle...

For me one of the biggest struggles in my life is the balance between dropping everything and living for the kingdom and totally depending on God for all of my needs, or striving in the world to get ahead and achieving something worldly. Reminding myself over and over that God always has a plan, connecting with him and carrying that with me is difficult for me. It is hard for me to continually think that what I am doing is furthering Gods Kingdom, because if I keep him close, I know and have always known that he will guide me to the things that I am suppose to do, for him.
I feel that my generation has a big responsibility to keep our eyes open for what is happening around the world, I truly feel that that is one of the main reasons for the internet and our ability through technology, to stay so closely connected. But as I say that it is very significant that we, at the same time keep a close eye on what is happening in our own backyards. Knowing how to keep that balance is something that we have to pay extreme close attention to, that means that we have to grow as humans, grow to encompass all of that which is laid at our feet and have the wisdom to see where best our actions fit in to the grand picture.
"The gates of hell will never prevail against the kingdom of God." When we read this we have to remember that "gates" are a defensive noun, that we have to be the offensive to destroy the gates that people have put up, destroy with love that is, because the reason that folks put gates up in the first place is because they fear that something is going to come after them and hurt them. We have to show people that we are not here to hurt but to heal, so they can let their guards down and take off their masks we love them for who they are, even with the brokenness that they are full of. And that through our savior we are able to love them because nothing that we have ever done and could ever do can take his love away, and with that we can be vulnerable to him and everyone, and this is what truly frees us, we can take off the shackles of shame, and come to him with only our honest selves. So lets lovingly destroy the gates that everyone has put up in fear and love them until they can know God's love for them, unconditionally. Lets show our enemies, and our neighbors the love that is in store for them. Lets all live in freedom!

As a Christian....

I wanted to repeat Jay Bakker's Revolution Church sentiment " As a Christian, we are sorry for being self-righteous judgmental bastards!" - I too as a christian am sorry for this, I think that we have to own that this is what the church has been in in the past and take responsibility for it and not just say this is not who "I" am "I'm not one of those", because all of us have been, be honest with your self and with everyone, I think that people will start to respect us more for that. So don't let the bastards get you down! Jesus is not one. By the way I love Jay and his message!

A post about Mom

Mom in 1971

My mother has cancer at age 54. She has been a light in my life so much, it is so hard to talk about her because there is no words that can explain what she has done for me. But I want her legacy to live on, I hope that I can live close to the way that she has lived and is still living her life. Through out her life she has always been the type of person that would give what ever she has to help someone, people have always told me that no matter when or were they see her she always has a smile on her face, and they say just seeing her brings a light to their life. It's the same for me, always encouraging me. One of my favorite memories that has always stayed with me, is the way she used to wake me and my brother up every morning, she would sing "Its time to wake up Brent and Cheyne, its time to wake up." And she would always have a warm breakfast ready for us. She never has wanted much in her life, materially, she spends most of her time at her farm in Winslow, watching and tending to her chickens, growing amazing flowers and tasty vegetables, and enjoying a peaceful life among the trees and wildlife. I am so sad that she is having to go through cancer and the treatments that are making hard for her to function like she wants to,but she is so positive about everything (her nickname is Pollyanna) even about the cancer. Most of the time I have to make her let me help her, she never wants to put anyone out. Mom, I wish I had the words to explain the love that I have for you and how many ways you have impacted my life, I know that a thank you is not enough, hopefully the life that I lead will be a pointer to who you are and what you have done. I love you so much.