More thoughts on prayer

For the past few days I have been praying more than I ever have before, more focused prayer has been coming through me, and I have to say that it has brought me closer to my creator and my Healer more than I have ever been. I have always wanted this and have always heard talk of it, that feeling that he is near, that he is whispering in my ear, that he is pushing me into the person that God intended me to be, when he formed me out of nothingness in my mothers womb. The more I put myself under his authority and ask him to guide me even in my own prayers, so that I could be evermore closer to the oneness that my heart craves, so that I could truly be more in line with what he is praying for and what he is wanting to get done, so that I can be more of a conduit of his love and his healing. Truly focused on the bringing of his Kingdom through me. The struggle for him is truly worth it, that feeling of being lost is in all of us, but when I touch the hem of his robe and I feel connected to his will that feeling starts to fade away, I don't feel so lost, I feel like I have a purpose that is deeper than me, it grounds me and feeds me, and shapes me from this lump of clay into a true work of art, I may not be totally there yet but know that I am on the path.

authentic community

This thought has been in my mind for a while and just recently I have stumbled on a website called Thrive Ministries it is a missional based ministry, concerning creating an authentic community, and living out Missio Dei or the Mission of God; which is the idea that God is actively working to restore his creation to wholeness. This has put a hop in my step thinking about creating a community where we as God's children can come together in total honesty and trust to heal the wounds that cover us, were we can learn to love each other's true self the self that God created. My whole life I have been thinking along this path, that I want something deeper where I can shed the false self I have created and have a true community that I can trust and be trusted in. Where I can be healed and help others heal. A place where love permeates and we can help each other learn to love our spouses and children more, and spread the healing and redemption of the whole world. This is what I feel that Jesus was talking about, bringing God's Kingdom here. Something here and now not just a prayer that we pray so that someday we will live for eternity with God, we all need that relationship with God healed.
From Thrive I heard a quote from author Parker Palmer that expresses this quite well "Afraid that our inner light will be extinguished or our inner darkness exposed, we hide our true identities from each other, in the process we become separated from our own souls. We end up living divided lives so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the integrity that comes from being who we are." he also said "How can affirm anothers identity when I deny my own, how can trust anothers identity when I defy my own." A thank you from me goes out to Thrive Ministries for futhering my walk with God...

Today I tried to preach a sermon....

Well today I got up in front of my church and tried to teach about my thoughts on the genius of Jesus, I was half nervous and half exited to share some of my thoughts and feelings about Jesus, I defiantly have a heart for teaching, I think that as soon as I get my auto-cad degree that I will probably start perusing some kind of theological degree. I have a certain view point on Christianity, and have a passion for history, which has to lead me somewhere, right? Well here is some of my thoughts about the genius of Jesus;

Prayer:

Jesus if you would show yourself to us in this community today,

For I know that you are already here with us,

Help us feel your presence,

Help us feel your genius today,

Help us be a true community all in relation to you,

Open our minds to your will,

And open our hearts to the love that you have for us,

And in this New Year lead us to be a community of disciples fulfilling your mission.

In my journey I have been around the block, so to say, in the spiritual realm.

I have been involved in many different paths trying to find my way to God;

Ever since I was very young I had a strong yearning to seek God.

And I'm not going to deny some of the awesome moments that I went through and the fact that I truly believe God was there with me, in fact I know that he was.

Another thing that I know is that it was all to lead me here,

To be in communion with you all,

and to be in communion with my King, or if I may say, my president Jesus.

No other spiritual practice or path speaks so eloquently to all aspects of our lives,

teaching us how not only to get our selves right with God but almost more importantly giving ourselves to our neighbors and focusing all of our intentions on LOVE.

So speaking to the genius of Jesus I want us to look at 3 verses today if you have a bible with you today please open them to Mark 2:15,

For me this is a great example of the way that Jesus thinks,

To help us understand this let us look at the context of this passage,

As I understand it in Jesus’ time most of the Pharisees blamed the occupation and fall of Israel to Rome on the sinners and nonreligious Jews,

They felt like if only the people of Israel could be more religious and clean like them they could rise again,

And more over the idea of communing and eating with them was blasphemous,

They could not be brought down to the level of sinners that would corrupt them and ruin them in God’s eyes,

So Jesus’ thinking is that we not only need to stoop to the level of sinners we need to eat with them and show them the love of God,

He is not thinking about his reputation,

He is not thinking about bringing Israel back to its once held glory,

He is thinking about Gods healing love right then and right there.

On to our second passage Mark 4:21-25 please follow along,

For this passage I would like to read out of the Message Bible,

It really helped me understand what Jesus is trying to say,

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To bring it into context Jesus is talking to a large crowd,

so large that he decided to get out on to a boat to speak while the crowd listened from the edge of the Sea of Galilee

he is talking about how to live life to this group first using a farmer as a metaphor,

something that they are all very familiar with,

with most everyone in those times having to grow most of their food,

and then the metaphor of a lamp which was a staple for all households,

but it is that last point that he makes is what gets me,

Generosity that is Jesus’ way,

That is Gods way.

Lets move on, Mark 10:17 once again from the Message

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The context here is that someone is trying to understand how to gain eternal life,

To understand how to get into Gods Kingdom,

And Jesus turns right around and tell the rich man that he needs to give it all away,

I would argue that this is the last thing that he was expecting to hear,

I think that Jesus saw right thru the man and saw that he wasn’t ready to let God take control,

Genius,

Which leads me to my next point,

The Great Reversal, what a great thought, what a genius way of putting it,

The ones with the most , last

The ones with the least, first

This is the way it is in Jesus’ upside down Kingdom,

I mean in our culture we see things and have been taught things in a certain way,

That we want to be on top with the few, the rich, that’s success, right?

We don’t want to mingle with those who have the least,

The riff-raff, the unclean, the non religious, right?

We see hundreds of adds a day that tell us we need more,

Which means we need more money, right?

Jesus says no,

We don’t, we need to be with the least, Eat with them,

Mingle with them, Love them, count our selves among them,

and with our generosity show them Gods healing love.

Father God

For me, my relationship with God has been an interesting journey, we have ebbed back and forth through times of real closeness and times of doubt and distance. But lately through some revelations, and tears my closeness with God seems to be back, bringing me out of the darkness of doubt into the light of love. Realizing that God has the same love for us and me that I have for my own children, I just think of when each of my kids were born, they came out, still covered in that new born film all slippery and slimy, I held them in my arms and I felt this love come over me just totally pure not because of something they did but just because they were there. This love is almost unexplainable, but it is real, really real. Placing that knowledge of God as our father at the center of my life, really brings me peace about my own father and the fact of who my true father is, the one is with me all of the time, the one who when I listen will guide me.

The struggle...

For me one of the biggest struggles in my life is the balance between dropping everything and living for the kingdom and totally depending on God for all of my needs, or striving in the world to get ahead and achieving something worldly. Reminding myself over and over that God always has a plan, connecting with him and carrying that with me is difficult for me. It is hard for me to continually think that what I am doing is furthering Gods Kingdom, because if I keep him close, I know and have always known that he will guide me to the things that I am suppose to do, for him.
I feel that my generation has a big responsibility to keep our eyes open for what is happening around the world, I truly feel that that is one of the main reasons for the internet and our ability through technology, to stay so closely connected. But as I say that it is very significant that we, at the same time keep a close eye on what is happening in our own backyards. Knowing how to keep that balance is something that we have to pay extreme close attention to, that means that we have to grow as humans, grow to encompass all of that which is laid at our feet and have the wisdom to see where best our actions fit in to the grand picture.
"The gates of hell will never prevail against the kingdom of God." When we read this we have to remember that "gates" are a defensive noun, that we have to be the offensive to destroy the gates that people have put up, destroy with love that is, because the reason that folks put gates up in the first place is because they fear that something is going to come after them and hurt them. We have to show people that we are not here to hurt but to heal, so they can let their guards down and take off their masks we love them for who they are, even with the brokenness that they are full of. And that through our savior we are able to love them because nothing that we have ever done and could ever do can take his love away, and with that we can be vulnerable to him and everyone, and this is what truly frees us, we can take off the shackles of shame, and come to him with only our honest selves. So lets lovingly destroy the gates that everyone has put up in fear and love them until they can know God's love for them, unconditionally. Lets show our enemies, and our neighbors the love that is in store for them. Lets all live in freedom!